Steady

If there was ever a difference in the color of our skin

it didnt matter, we matched red then.

We chased our Vodka with

“fuck you”‘s

and

“never again”‘s.

If you didnt earn my hate that night

I’d never have known hate in my life.

And with all my heart, I wanted to be right.

I wanted to watch you leave for the last time.

 

 

 

Backs and Barriers

You have built your barrier with your back to me

And I’m half grateful on the other side

pretending I’m not crying.

Because I’m always crying.

And that berating, disengaged

“What now?!”

Is like fucking NAILS

on a God damned CHALKBOARD,

your words make my skin crawl.

This is not the person  I want to be.

This is not the person I want to give to you.

But you are not the you I want to receive me.