Adults

For the first time in my life

I’m learning how to be alone. 

But I realize this is how these things go. 

You work almost as many hours in a day

As I spend awake. 

So I tell myself your place in our bed 

Has not been left

But it still feels cold

On the nights youre late coming home. 

You feel in order to properly provide 
You have more to prove and abide. 

Your offered condolences like “if it were up to me..” 

Don’t add up to the overtime that isn’t mandatory.

But look, it’s just as you say,

 here I am. 

Always ungrateful 

Never understanding. 

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Equality

The men you serve with

Will struggle to accept

Your success. 

They will credit less

To your competence​

Than your bodies prominence. 

So wear your smile the way you wear your uniform. 

And let them assume to know what it stands for. 

Home is where the heart lives

We could build a house with our words,

And it would derive the most strength from yours..

The windows would sound like my doubt,

So they wouldn’t keep everything out. 

And rain would drip through cracks in your drunken slurs

But the walls would hold. Concrete like promises that were.

Our future would hold time for repairs. 

Because we can make a home in anything we share. 

Our Coffins Are Already Built

I occupy a body 

That has grown with me,

And somehow separately. 

I can’t help but feel 

We are merely close enemies. 

This body is not a temple,

It is a cage 

And it’s bars are my age. 

When I finally begin,

It will be a coffin I end with. 

This is a battle between actuality

And reality. 

Winner Takes All

I didn’t ask for her happiness,

But I had never known

The taste of my own. 

~

When she said 

If I were an ocean

Then she would love to drown..

I loved the sound. 

I have never lost myself

To love someone else.

But I know the pieces of my heart

That are recycled parts,

Sacrificed by those who thought

I was something to be wrought. 

I couldn’t mean to cause theirs to break,

When I didn’t know hearts came another way. 

~

She thought I was a project,

And I thought I was a game

I guess you can still lose when you don’t play. 

Shared Burden

You guarded the door 

While I guided my finger

To the back of my throat. 

Self destruction is a drug.

So I guarded the door,

While you guided your finger 

To the back of your throat. 

It wasn’t the weight. 

It wasn’t my thighs. 

It wasn’t for control. 

Because hating yourself is easiest

Around someone hating themself more. 

We agreed to never encourage

To only support. 

Because supporting someone hating themself

Is easiest when you hate yourself more. 

You needed my support 

And I needed yours.