We’ve said goodbye
in seven days.
And the hardest
was the second time
I saw your face.
I will apolgize
for the rest of my life.
so I’m sorry the air
is easier to breathe when
I’m alone on my own two feet.
But I guess it feels like
I stole the air straight
from your chest.
I still feel the need
to take care you.
And that’s hard to face,
when I’m finally trying
to take care of me too.
for every goodbye
you weren’t listening
close enough to hear.
You say I don’t have a heart,
and I when offer my pulse as proof
you smile, like this steady beat
only goes to further your point.
You may not feel so alone in the bed you staked your claim in. You won’t miss him at night, sleeping alone is a habitat you thrive in.
But Everytime you visit the grocery store you will reach for his favorite foods, and you never learned how too cook for one. So maybe you will stop.
You don’t miss the feel of his skin, but every morning you notice that his toothbrush is no longer where it belongs.
You stopped tripping over his shoes in the hall.
You started to skip over the songs he would play on repeat.
You make twice as much coffee as you can drink.
You scrub the floors every evening, just to stay out of bed.
You sleep with pillows behind your back at night.
You want to throw everything he has ever touched.
You let men cover your skin with their finger prints so you can no longer feel his.
She said sometimes
we fight for everything but each other.
Our battles and our demons
start to look like the person in the mirror.
And it’s easiest to project them
on the only person still laying near.
He texted to tell me
He will love me for the rest His life.
like He wants an apology
for a death sentence.
Like this is a math equation
that is bigger than me,
and I have no right
to go subtracting.
You reminded me to lock the doors,
I guess to maintain the sanctity
of a house that is no longer yours.
We both know that I’ve never lived alone,
maybe I expected the world
to feel bigger than it did before.
I know I broke you,
to keep myself whole.
You ask me how I can be so cold,
is my only motivation.
You left the closet bare,
and I’m sorry I found peace
when I asked you to leave.